I felt a strong urge to write when Edith came, but so far I only have words here and there; fragmented parts of things sitting in different documents, none of them actually becoming a cohesive piece of words and thoughts. I have always found letter writing to be an easier way for me to use words, so I took to writing letters to Edith. Here is the first, and perhaps the start of a series of some sort.
I am coming to think that the most important word we can say in our lifetime is yes.
Exactly one year ago, we discovered your existence. It is amazing, really. You existed before we knew of you. You came into being, the smallest little person growing inside of me, and only God Himself knew.
I didn’t believe the first test and drove to the drug store to buy another. The plus sign appeared again, and I fell into bed unsure of how I was to feel. We were excited, of course but we had two full years of graduate school in front of us; two years of your mom still needing to work so that we could eat, and two years full of papers, books, and words for your dad. All of these responsibilities and plans raced through my mind and left me muddled. Confused. Unsure of what I should think, or say. But here was a chance for me to respond, a moment that asked me not to simply accept our position and move on but to fully embrace the entirety of all that we were being asked to do.
Let it be done to me according to your word.
That word, Edith, gave us you. And we, in turn, learn to say yes. Yes to the growing life inside of me, yes to sleepless nights, yes to spending money on diapers, yes to giving you all that your existence requires.
You are teaching me to say yes, to receive and embrace the moments given to me. Our yesses hurt sometimes. They are uncomfortable and inconvenient. They are often silent and go unnoticed by those around us. But yes—a quiet yes witnessed by no other human being, but a symphonic yes witnessed by the entire host of heaven—flung wide the doors for Christ on this earth.
So open your heart and open your mouth to say yes. Join your small fiats with that of Our Lady’s at the annunciation, and with Our Lord’s in the Garden. With every yes you will be made to be more like Him. You will be made more human, more yourself. And with every yes you will come closer to that day when you stand before our Savior who said yes to you.
Not my will, but Thine be done.
Let it be done to me according to your word. Whatever you ask, Lord, the answer is yes.
We are glad you came into our lives a year ago, E. I would say yes again and again so that you could be a part of us.